"Cool Beans" exclaimed Dr. Hasan as she examined my abs of steel. After 25 sessions of radiation on the tumor, it has shrunk 90%. It is nice when your physician is excited by the results. I finished on Wednesday. After 25 straight weekdays of a 90 minute drive, our car heads to Chicago automatically. :)
Next step is to have a CT scan in a couple of weeks and then the DLI - Donor Lymphocyte Infusion. That is where a booster of t cells is given by IV (like a blood transfusion) to attack any rogue floating cells. Thankfully the only side affect I had was being tired and needing a nap during the day.
Throw into that a great 4 days of watching our grandson Eli (18 months old) for a 4 day weekend. He is a very happy little boy who will bring you books as long as you can read them to him.
During this time my brother Karl had to again have surgery to remove a recurrent brain tumor at Northwestern Hospital and he comes home today. The waves keep coming but God is present in the storm.
I celebrate every day that God gives me here. Count your blessings.
Neal
Friday, March 16, 2012
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Stumbling Stone
A Pastor friend of mine in his 80's is an avid reader. Whenever I see him I ask for a recommendation. The latest is Falling Upward by Richard Rohr. His writing gave me a new perspective on trials.
Isaiah 8:14 God is both sanctuary and stumbling stone, Yahweh is a rock that brings Israel down, the Lord is a trap and snare for the people.
"Sooner or later, if you are on any classic "spiritual schedule", some event, person, death, idea, or relationship will enter your life that you simply cannot deal with, using your resent skill set, your acquired knowledge, or your strong willpower. Spiritually speaking, you will be , you must be, led to the edge of your own private resources. At that point you will stumble over a necessary stumbling stone, as Isaiah calls it; or to state it in our language here, you will and you must "lose" at something. This is the only way that LIfe-Fate-God-Grace-Mystery can get you to change, let g of your egocentric preoccupations, and go on the further and larger journey. I wish I could say this is not true, but it is darn near absolute in the spiritual literature of the world.
There is no compelling reason to leave one's present comfort zone in life. Why should you or would you? Frankly, none of us do unless and until we have to. The invitation probably has to be unexpected and unsought. If we seek spiritual heroism ourselves, the old ego is just back in control under a new name. There would not really be any change at all, but only disguise. Just bogus "self-improvement" under our own terms.
Any attempt to engineer or plan our own enlightenment is doomed to failure because it will be ego driven. You will see only what you have already decided to look for, and you cannot see what you are not ready or told to look for.
So we must stumble and fall. I am sorry to say. And that does not mean reading about falling, as you are doing here. We must actually be out of the driver's seat for a while, or we will never learn how to give up control to the Real Guide.. It is a necessary pattern. This is the kind of falling I mean by necessary suffering.
It seems that in the spiritual world, we do not really find something until we first lose it, ignore it, miss it, long for it, choose it, and personally find it again - but now on a new level."
Note from Neal:
What are stumbling over today? What is making you depend on God because your own resources can't handle it? Look for God.
Isaiah 8:14 God is both sanctuary and stumbling stone, Yahweh is a rock that brings Israel down, the Lord is a trap and snare for the people.
"Sooner or later, if you are on any classic "spiritual schedule", some event, person, death, idea, or relationship will enter your life that you simply cannot deal with, using your resent skill set, your acquired knowledge, or your strong willpower. Spiritually speaking, you will be , you must be, led to the edge of your own private resources. At that point you will stumble over a necessary stumbling stone, as Isaiah calls it; or to state it in our language here, you will and you must "lose" at something. This is the only way that LIfe-Fate-God-Grace-Mystery can get you to change, let g of your egocentric preoccupations, and go on the further and larger journey. I wish I could say this is not true, but it is darn near absolute in the spiritual literature of the world.
There is no compelling reason to leave one's present comfort zone in life. Why should you or would you? Frankly, none of us do unless and until we have to. The invitation probably has to be unexpected and unsought. If we seek spiritual heroism ourselves, the old ego is just back in control under a new name. There would not really be any change at all, but only disguise. Just bogus "self-improvement" under our own terms.
Any attempt to engineer or plan our own enlightenment is doomed to failure because it will be ego driven. You will see only what you have already decided to look for, and you cannot see what you are not ready or told to look for.
So we must stumble and fall. I am sorry to say. And that does not mean reading about falling, as you are doing here. We must actually be out of the driver's seat for a while, or we will never learn how to give up control to the Real Guide.. It is a necessary pattern. This is the kind of falling I mean by necessary suffering.
It seems that in the spiritual world, we do not really find something until we first lose it, ignore it, miss it, long for it, choose it, and personally find it again - but now on a new level."
Note from Neal:
What are stumbling over today? What is making you depend on God because your own resources can't handle it? Look for God.
Friday, March 2, 2012
Continue to pray for Karl
Karl was taken into emergency surgery Wednesday night. He was having some more swelling on his head. A couple of Jamie's girlfriends picked me up and we headed over to Northwestern's hospital. The surgeon was able to drain the blood which should help move along the healing process. Just before Karl made it to his room his older kids came to be with him. His swelling was down a little bit but he still was not able to say anything or use his right arm. The doctors feel that it will take a few days for the swelling in his brain to recede.. Within a couple weeks he should be back to himself. The hope is to move Karl to the rehabilitation center at NW within the next few days. Please pray that he will heal completely.
Neal continues to put the miles on our car. He is feeling good except just tired. He only has 8 treatments left!
On the journey,
Trish
Neal continues to put the miles on our car. He is feeling good except just tired. He only has 8 treatments left!
On the journey,
Trish
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Update on Karl
I rode in with Neal today for his radiation. He dropped me off at the train station at U of C, I took the train downtown and walked to Northwestern University Hospital to visit Karl and Jamie. (Don't I sound like a city girl:)) Karl had a little set back yesterday but today he was doing much better. One side of his face is swollen from the surgery, his right arm is a little weak and he is having some trouble finding his words. They hope to move Karl tomorrow to the rehabilitation facility. Doctors feel that he will be back to his self within a couple weeks.
Continue to pray for the Smith boys!
On the journey,
Trish
Continue to pray for the Smith boys!
On the journey,
Trish
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Setting the table
This week had me at the table - or should I say on the table - as I continued with radiation of the tumor in my abdominal muscle. It continues to shrink so we keep on for 2 weeks. I have been driving in each day and I don't know how people do that for a job. I feel quite well so I go myself except when friends want to ride along. Paul came along this week. It was enjoyable to catch up and adult conversation.
Added to our week was surgery for my brother Karl. He had a surface brain tumor recur from about 15 months ago which statistically was a 10% chance. The surgery went well and now he is recuperating. We don't know when he will be discharged. He will then have follow up radiation when I get off the table. :)
We celebrated family Birthdays yesterday. As I looked around the dining room table, it was a blessing to count 16 people who belong to our family. That doesn't count infants. I just had to sit there and soak in the blessing. Do you have people sitting at your table - give thanks for them.
Added to our week was surgery for my brother Karl. He had a surface brain tumor recur from about 15 months ago which statistically was a 10% chance. The surgery went well and now he is recuperating. We don't know when he will be discharged. He will then have follow up radiation when I get off the table. :)
We celebrated family Birthdays yesterday. As I looked around the dining room table, it was a blessing to count 16 people who belong to our family. That doesn't count infants. I just had to sit there and soak in the blessing. Do you have people sitting at your table - give thanks for them.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Come ride with me!
Neal here. I have copied a great idea that local law enforcement has implemented over the years called the Ride Along program. Today I took that to heart and had my friend Ryan, a state trooper, ride along with me to Chicago. He generously offered to ride shotgun, without his radar gun or taser, to my appointment at U of C. It was a great time to visit and reconnect as I have been away from church and other activities for a while to avoid "bugs". It was a great visit and I invite others who have time and the patience to join me.
So far, I haven't been too fatigued from the radiation. It takes 90 minutes to get there, 40 minutes for treatment, and then 90 minutes back. As I lay on the table I am amazed at the technology and even the physics they employ to apply and maximize the power yet minimize the extraneous as they analyzed the tumor's density and location of other parts of my guts. I glad someone likes math!
As I must remain motionless for 20 minutes, I think. This is an invisible power that has curative power by penetrating my being and killing diseased cells. I must trust it is directed in my best interest and not understanding exactly how it works, or all the specific details, believe it will give me healthy results. I must also voluntarily expose myself to it. Perhaps I am spiritualizing too much but think of the power of God. Very similar. Give it some thought.
Otherwise feeling quite well so far! Thanks for asking. The journey continues.
God is faithful
Neal
So far, I haven't been too fatigued from the radiation. It takes 90 minutes to get there, 40 minutes for treatment, and then 90 minutes back. As I lay on the table I am amazed at the technology and even the physics they employ to apply and maximize the power yet minimize the extraneous as they analyzed the tumor's density and location of other parts of my guts. I glad someone likes math!
As I must remain motionless for 20 minutes, I think. This is an invisible power that has curative power by penetrating my being and killing diseased cells. I must trust it is directed in my best interest and not understanding exactly how it works, or all the specific details, believe it will give me healthy results. I must also voluntarily expose myself to it. Perhaps I am spiritualizing too much but think of the power of God. Very similar. Give it some thought.
Otherwise feeling quite well so far! Thanks for asking. The journey continues.
God is faithful
Neal
Friday, February 10, 2012
Radiation has started!
Neal started radiation yesterday. The first time was about 1 1/2 hour long because they have to take some pictures and line him up correctly. Last week he had a mold made that he lays in to keep still and they line him up at certain angles to target the tumor directly. Today and the other 23 treatments should only be 30 minutes long. His appointments are at 9:30am so he will drop me off at the office, drive in to Chicago and pick me up when he gets back into town. As long as Neal isn't too tired he will drive himself in for his treatments.
Karsten's 20th birthday was yesterday so Neal and I are going to Taylor tomorrow for the day. We will go out for late lunch/early dinner to celebrate. Grant, Jenni and the boys will be able to join us. Neal's numbers have been on the rise so he should be okay at the resturant since it shouldn't be a busy time of day. This will be his first outing in a public place (except for hospitals and doctor's offices) in several weeks!
Karl's surgery was moved up to February 24 so they don't have to wait so long. He went today to make sure he is healthy for surgery and get blood work done.
I took Dale and Bobbie to Dale' doctor's appointment with the nuerologist this morning. He will have a few more tests done to see if they can get some more answers.
I am re-reading a little book by Anne Graham Lotz called "Why?" It is a great easy read talking about why does God allow bad things to happen to "good" people. One thing she says is that God allows storms of suffering to increase and intensify my life because He wants me to soar higher in my relationship with Him--to fall deeper in love with Him, to grow stronger in my faith with Him, to be more consistent in my walk with Him, to bear more fruit in my service to Him, to draw closer to His heart, to keep my focus on His face, to live for His glory alone. So when we ask "Why me?", God whispers, why not you? Just trust Me!
On the journey,
Trish
Karsten's 20th birthday was yesterday so Neal and I are going to Taylor tomorrow for the day. We will go out for late lunch/early dinner to celebrate. Grant, Jenni and the boys will be able to join us. Neal's numbers have been on the rise so he should be okay at the resturant since it shouldn't be a busy time of day. This will be his first outing in a public place (except for hospitals and doctor's offices) in several weeks!
Karl's surgery was moved up to February 24 so they don't have to wait so long. He went today to make sure he is healthy for surgery and get blood work done.
I took Dale and Bobbie to Dale' doctor's appointment with the nuerologist this morning. He will have a few more tests done to see if they can get some more answers.
I am re-reading a little book by Anne Graham Lotz called "Why?" It is a great easy read talking about why does God allow bad things to happen to "good" people. One thing she says is that God allows storms of suffering to increase and intensify my life because He wants me to soar higher in my relationship with Him--to fall deeper in love with Him, to grow stronger in my faith with Him, to be more consistent in my walk with Him, to bear more fruit in my service to Him, to draw closer to His heart, to keep my focus on His face, to live for His glory alone. So when we ask "Why me?", God whispers, why not you? Just trust Me!
On the journey,
Trish
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